Just me

Well On Thursday My Instructor And I sat and talk about how was doing? In the last month and half she has seen me gone downhill, showing signs of depression and not being myself, believe everything is ok when it is not. She concened. To be completely honest, i would have to agree with her. I haven't been myself. I been trying to not think about what happened and move forward but it is still in back of my mind and my focus is not on the children while i am on practise, it elsewhere and it looks like i am not fully there. But i will said this, Jesus is giving me strength and without him this whole thing would of be a lot worse. My time this days has been focus on school and i don't want to say i don;t have time for jesus but honesty i have not done my rations for a least 3 weeks or done a full war room shift for almost 4 weeks. so that where i am. She is worried that i am going to fail and I don't want to do that because i work my butt off in last 8 months

8 weeks and i will be done school :) it been a good time in school but i am at the point when i just want to be finished and start working in the feild.
1 more week of afternoon classes.
physicially & spirtually i am doing good but emotionally i have good days and days are bad. Missing shane a lot this days in my life but just waiting on the lord on that. Just want to say Shane You are great guy and i am hoping and praying for the lord's best for you.
got to hang out with crystal myers and andy and Rebecca at xculture last night, it was good times.

cool song

Hear Us From Heaven - Jared Anderson

Verse:
Lord, hear our cry
Come heal our land
Breath life into these dry and thirsty souls
Lord, hear our prayer Forgive our sin
And as we call on Your name Would You
make this a place For Your glory to dwell
Chorus: Open the blind eyes Unlock the deaf ears
Come to Your people As we draw near Hear us from heaven
Touch our generation
We are Your people Crying out in desperation
Lord hear our song Your children worship As we sing out Your praise
Would You make this a place for Your glory to dwell
Bridge: Hear Us From Heaven, Hear Us From Heaven, Hear Us From Heaven (4x)

cool illustration

In a kindgarten class a teacher brought in a picture of a family and one of the boy in the picture had different colour of hair and skin and one boy said is that boy adopted? this girl said he probably is, i know about adoption because i am adopted. a person in the class asked what is adoption? The girl that was adopted said" I grew in my mommy's heart instead of my mommy's tummy.

Lyrics Don't worry child(no idea who wrote but would like to know :)

Don't worry child

To live is christ to die is gain
You believe this but you can't ignore your pain
It's hard enough to move it through another day
now you need someone to hear you when you pray

Chorus:
Don't worry child, i am right here by your side
I been here all along in me, won't you abide
Is your grief too much to bare, give it to me
I can heal your heart, your soul i can set you free

When you wake up each day my promises are new
Have faith in me and i will get you through
Is your burden heavy here take mine it light
my yolk is easy, come and have this life

Chorus

You've fought until you nothing left to give
Every ounce of every energy you have spent
though your heart it break inside
more than anything in life
I long for you to know

Chorus

I know this pain this has caused
Gave my son upon the cross
But know nothing has been lost
Believe in me (2x)

praise the lord!

The lord is with us where ever we go.
He go before us and prepare the way
He loves us where we are, that he is not finished what we are and hope what we can become.
he calm the storms in our lifes
he is the god of justice
he is the judge and he is the judge the wicked
he is god of grace. praise the lord for grace
he is a god of second chances, if we run from him, he is there with arm wide open waiting for us to run back to him. hallejuah!
more of him and less of me
he must increase, i must decrease

just me

Things are pretty good in my life this days, I am now taking 8 hrs of class to catch up for the lost time i missed in the first month so it is a bit overwhelmed but it will be worth it in the end, i will be finished soon. Practium is coming up soon, i am excited and nervous at the same time, God has been speaking to me about grace and just showing what my priveledge at the moment should be. School now, relationships later. i been reading the word more and i am spend more time with my 614 family and i know that i always have someone to talk to or if i need any prayer people are there for me. it is great. That i am great person and unquire . I am fearfully and wonderfully made and i know that the lord works in me are beautiful The lord is reshowing me who i am in him, a strong women of god that obey the following of the holy spirit.

colossian 3:1-4

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Lord help me to focus on things that are eternal and what is good and pure and noble in my life and not the not so good things that are happening in my life right now. lord lift the veil of my eyes to see the good in my life. Help my eyes to fix my eyes on you jesus. You are right beside me and i know, i thanks for you that you are standing right next me and you are walking through this with me, i am not alone in this. hallejuah! Lord you are the lifter of my head and my glory.

Isaiah 41:9-11
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Love this verse, the lord has been giving this verse to me and for other people in the last few months.)

Shane & I broke up

The rumours are true, Shane & I broke up. I am doing ok, I still love him and care for him but last night i came to the conclusion that i have a great life, amazing church family and family and school and i need a guy that respect who i am and willing to wait for me no matter what the circumances are and yes i agree i need to think really things through before making a decision but i am not perfect, i am understanding person, i accept him for who he was, why can't he do the same for me. I don't need more drama in my life, have enough of that thr0ugh my childhood. Thanks for all those are praying for me, i appericate it a lot :)

my easter weekend

i went back to gibsons for 5 days thursday to sunday. friday i went to the good friday service which was good. saw some familar faces including my youth pastors which it was great to see them both. saturday i slept in late and walk my dog and just chill out, i got a phone call from a old friend, marria, she was one of my youth leader and it been almost 2 years since we last saw each other so it was so cool to see her and came up. we went for a walk along bonniebrook and then went for gelato ice cream which was great. it was so good to see her and to catch up. sunday had dinner with family and watch shaune of the dead and then i went to xculture to hang out with shane and other cool people that live out there. watch a movie and just relax and then me and shane walk home back downtown. today, i slept in late, had breakfest with shane and went out to starbuck and we went window shopping for computer games. it been a good break.

update

went to the doctor today, There were not migerines or anything serious like tumours or anything like that. It was muscle and joint tenision in the neck and shoulders and the pain just go up into the head, just have to add heat to my shoulder and neck and if that is not worked then i will have to go do massage therphy and i found that one of my cousin does that for a living and my mom is going to try and get me a discount which would be sweetness.

please pray for me

Hmm i been getting a migranine headache as least one a week for the last 3 weeks, I have no idea why. i went to a doctor yesterday and he did some tests regarding a tumour, which i don't have which is good. he also prescriped me with some pills. I am going to get a second opinion on thursday when i go to my family doctor that i know and trust. Please pray for me. I already miss one day of school last week and this week, i can't afford to miss any more school because of this and i don't want to miss school because i enjoyed it a lot.
In other news, i am well.

there is still hope in the DTES

Matt, becky and myself were on street combat tonight, first if you ask him to break your heart, he does and he definality did tonight. We met this women who was in her 50. She just start to talk to us and we stopped, she just open up on how she was down here for a long time and she had a revelation in the mirrior on saturday, that she has so much to live for, she want to change and she want freedom from addiction. She lost her finger from a fresh eating infection and teeth from drugs. She want to go to treatment. She want to be free. She want to love herself first and then help other people to do the same. Hallejuah. We told her about homestead and her face just lit up and we are going to give her the information about homestead in the next few days. We all pray over and just spoke truth in her life. Her name is paula. We all gave her a hug and we left being encouraged and blessed from the women that has so much hope and desire a change and know that jesus can tranformed her life. Hallejuah!

martyr memories

Favorite street combat storie
Me and andy macdonald were out on street combat and we met our friend bill, his eye was pussed up and extremely bruised so me and andy went to the war room, there was craig and joel and i laid hands on him and i pray for healing and everyone else agree with me and bill's eye was healed that night!
Jonathan & I go through the alley and we met lind and we did the sinner prayer with her and then we saw josh and other friends in the alley later that night and josh had a vision of a girl in the alley crying out for god and that was girl that me and jonathan found.
Extreme prophetic Foot washing at cartneige, meeting heather a 22 year crank addict and washing her feet, allow her to sleep in my room, gave her food. i see her sometimes on the street and she remember me. Writing my first song in the war room ever
Sleepover in 202 with rachael, nicole, jaime R, sueann
Roommate with linsday New and jamie smith sleep on our couch. Having all my squad coming to my room to pray for me when i was sick in bed
Storming out of frustration of squad and going into the next room.
Drill with steve and danielle
Going to Recre8 the first night with aurora and sueann when i was here meeting adam, matt and traci
going to celerbration of lights with travis
pray the bible with techno
going to see a date with drew barrymore with esther during fort night
all the wonderful talk and hang out times with Heather :)
Watch disney movies at 107 with linsay, jenn, josh, heather and phil. good times
reading the order of regulations with melinda on her bed, memorizing the 6 of the 11 docurines in one day
Becoming a solider in 614 on graduation day

Isaiah 58 Raw

Raw has started, last night was started with a dance routine by jonathan evan, donny and ian, good job guys, let just said it was freaking hilerious and entertaining :) Worship was great and Aaron preached and then we pray over each other that our heart would align with the father's heart, our heart would feel what the father would feel. The theme chapter for this year is Isaiah 58. Challenging chapter and i think i am going to try and memorize it. Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet. Declare to my people their rebellion and to the house of Jacob their sins.
2 For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them.
3 'Why have we fasted,' they say, 'and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?' "Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all your workers.
4 Your fasting ends in quarreling and strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD ?
6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness [a] will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken. The first night went well I believe. I am not as much involved as past years but i love Raw it is a freaking awesome event. teenager come down here on their spring break, doing urban mission. the lord dig that for sure. later dudes

Yesterday Me & shane celerbrated our 3 month anniversary of being together. It be a road of good and bad time but it been worth it all and things are great between me and him. Me & him went to the dugout and got some coffee and then we walk through the chinese garden, so gorgeous on a sunny day, went to his favorite chinese store and just look at cool looking oriontal furnite, we went to red robin and then me & him went to recre8. it was the perfect afternoon and a good way to celebrated our 3 months

what a mighty god we serve

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea Creation's revealing Your majesty From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring Every creature unique in the song that it sings All exclaiming Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.You are amazing God All powerful, untameable, Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaimYou are amazing God Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snowWho imagined the sun and gives source to its light Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of nightNone can fathomIndescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by nameYou are amazing GodAll powerful, untameable,Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaimYou are amazing GodYou are amazing God Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.You are amazing God All powerful, untameable,Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaimYou are amazing God Indescribable, uncontainable,You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.You are amazing God Incomparable, unchangeable You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same You are amazing God You are amazing God

from my devotions tonight from 2 corthinathin 1:3-7

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Hallejuah God loves us so much that he comfort us and give us the strength to carry on. how great is our god, what mighty god we serve.

a little peice of my heart.

Why does loving someone so much have hurt so freaking much. i want an open and honesty relationship, it really messy, that was my experience tonight. totally not what i thought it was or was really ready for. i really want to love like 1 cortinathin 13 love.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails

what i learn from listening prayer when i was away for the weekend
Jesus is up on the mountain top and i was at the botton and i look up and i saw him. He saw me and call down, come up here Rebekah. i want to show you something. I hike up top of the mountain it was gruly and hard, i got all sweaty and grossy, i got to the top of the mountain. tired i collapsed at jesus feet with my eyes shutted, Here i am, Jesus. Jesus came over to me and knelt beside and put his arm around me and said roman 8:28 which said And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose and he told me to open my eyes so i did, what a breathtaking view and i could see everything and jesus turn to me and said see it was worth it all, all the you do is according my purpose and i will show you my glory. your effect pay off, your faith pay off, your trust to walk the mountain and you were blessed in return. i turn to him and i said thanks u and we sat down and talk.

It is a mountain i need to climb, hurt and grossy and messy is neccarsay, lord just give me the strength to do it so i can see the fruit of this the work i am putting in.

from my devotions this evening

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.