A classic Christmas in the Barnum’s house
I count down to the days until Sam and Dan come home. It seems like only yesterday I was counting down the years until they were out of the house and my torment would end. Maybe it was only yesterday… Time is a curious thing . They arrive and the family leaves to pick out a tree. Sure it’s last minute, it being the eve of Christmas but a little on the late side is just how our family does things. Beside it just wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t all do together. Of course, by this time all the good trees are gone. We bicker about how we should of gone looking earlier but well, the bickering is all part of Christmas too. We argue about which tree of the few left is the least ugly and should have the honor of coming home with us. If mom get her way, and we know mom always get her way, we’ll end up taking home the ugliest tree in the lot. We pay for it, put it on the roof and are on our way. The males lug our little tree up the stairs and we begin to set it up. Well that is what we would do if we could find a tree stand. Where did we put that tree stand? After much rifling about we find it, but of course the bolts that hold the tree in place is missing. You would think after all the years we would get some new ones but we never do seem to learn. Everyone tries to recall how we had overcome this problem last year . Pennies maybe, did pennies work? Or was it bottle caps? I think bottle cap was it. Dan take one for the team and guzzles some beers so we can use the caps. It works. I hold the tree while the try to get it perfectly straight. I hardly see the point. It ‘s not as if the cat isn’t going to knock it over anyways. When impatience and frustration finally take over and the stupid tree is as straight as it’s going to get we start to decorate. First I fill it with water. Nobody else seem to care about the welfare of our poor Christmas tree. Sam, that brave brave boy , is in charge of the lights . It never seems to matter how neatly we put them away the previous year they still seem to find a way to tangle themselves again. He work diligently until they are untangled then begins the daunting task of making them work. He, like Dan, is our hero for making this sacrifice. Although our hero is heard screaming some less than saintly term at the top of his lungs at the lights, who don’t seem to take his treats very seriously because it’s another hour before they decide to light up. He has been to electrocute himself once or twice in his attempts before he manages to get them all working. Although, truth be told, I think he kind of enjoys that. So with the lights finally up we start to throw the ornaments on the tree. Yes, throw not put. Placing them doesn’t seem as much fun. Is it just me or do we seem to have fewer ornaments than last year? We have to actually put some heavy ones on the branches above the gaps to make an attempt at camouflaging them. It doesn’t really work. Its not all disorderly. We have our themes. Last year was gold, the year before that was umm well gold too. I can’t remember what the year before that was but I’m guess it was something truly spectacular and original. Mom has not been in the room all this time. I think the chaos is a little too much for her. She always returns at the end though to tell us what a beautiful job we’ve done (such a convincing liar my mother is). She also has the oh so important job of hanging the angel on top. We all stand around to marvel at the wondrous thing that is our tree, even though the skinny thing looks like it might fall over from the weight of all the heavy ornaments. It’s our tree though so we stand in awe of its beauty for a moment. Not long though. Its only a second before we can’t stand to hear the musical Christmas tree lights play its irritating tunes any longer and we all wander off to do our own thing.
Nothing eventful happens until the next evening when mom and dad take it upon themselves to drag us to church. They use every line in the book to guilt us into submission. Eventually we concede begrudgingly. We arrive and they give us all candles to light later. We’re a step ahead of them though because Dan has a lighter. We, being such rebels, light ours up and agree to blow them out on the count of three. 1... We look around to realize all our candles are already out. We try again. 2...3... They are all out again. We laugh at our inability, give up, and sit down. The time comes to light the candles. Rebekah tips the lighted one getting wax on the floor (shhh). We all stand and sing Christmas carols. Sam shouts out the lyrics to the songs as loudly and inaccurately as possible; noAL noAL. I nearly die of embarrassment. I’ll have to remember next time to make sure I don’t sit by him. After what seems like hours it’s over and we return home. I get home and relax. This doesn’t last long before I hear yelling and rush to the kitchen to find out the cause. I see Rebekah lying on the floor pounding her fists on the ground and hear her screaming “I want a drum! That’s all I wanted and you couldn’t even get it for me!” I see Sam and Dan laughing. I think they are insensitive until I realize that mom did in fact get Rebekah drums and join in the laughter. After a good half hour of Rebekah’s screaming we agree to let her open one present; the drums. She opens them and is ecstatic… until she remembers her screaming and becomes a little on the embarrassed side, silly Rebekah. After these antic the males (and Bek too) turn on yulin with the page. I try to enjoy it but well sports aren’t my cup of tea so I wander off to bed and eagerly await the presents to be unwrapped the next day. As I pass the kitchen I have to avert my eyes. Mother is frantically wrapping the presents. Well the ones that she actually remembered where she had hidden them. The rest will be left until next June when she finds them then puts them back in the cupboard in hopes that she will find them again next Christmas. When will that lady learn?
The next morning we awake to open our presents. Everyone is pleased with what they get. Well ok is less than pleased with the leather jacket but who can blame the guy? Sam and Dan got us silly string. Oh the havoc that ensues. Sam with his cleverness saves the last bit till no one had any left and ambushes us all. He’s a crafty one that Sam. We spend the rest of the day just relaxing and enjoying a Christmas video or special; The grinch that stole Christmas “BUT WHAT WILL I WEAR?!?” or maybe a Christmas story. “Ra ra ra ra ra’ If I have my way we play a game of monopoly but well I never get my way. Its probably best though since we’ve yet to play a game that didn’t end in a screaming match. I can say, without any bias, that its ALWAYS all Sam’s fault because h is a big cheater head! Finally the time comes when mom has completed dinner. Usually about 8 o’clock but hey like I said a little on the late side is just how we do things. Mom’s annual temper tantrum is all part of the holidays too. I would have thought she would calm down eventually, after all things always work out in the end and food is always good. Dad says a prayer and by the time he is finished we are all starving. We all dig into the spread of turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing (you can’t have Christmas without a whole lot of stuffing). We all prefer the brown meat (except one outcast who will remain nameless) so you got to be fast if you want some. If your not you can always steal Dan’s. He’s easily duped. Another classical the table is the egg nog. Each member must receive their fair share or a riot WILL break out. There are even disputes even when it is measured to the ml. In the end someone always ends up with more. We all know who that someone is. Don’t we?? Its all worth it though. Eggnog just wouldn’t taste as good if you didn’t have to fight for it.
When everything is over we all go off to bed and are glad that we had this time together. Who knows what our lives hold for us and how many more Christmas’s we will have together. Heck Dan will probably be off on some crazy adventure in who knows where by the next one. But when we are old and gray (in mom and dad’s case older and grayer ahahaha) we can always look back at those classic Barnum Christmas’s and laugh. I hope you guys liked my little story and had yet another very Merry Christmas!!! I love you all!!
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